forever

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters,

He restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord

forever

Like a child

On Sunday I went with my brother and his girlfriend to a Presbyterian church down the street. It's one of those churches where the young children are called out of the service several songs in so they can have their own, child-accessible sermon in a separate room. The pastor went on to talk about getting in God's way or something - to be honest, the sermon didn't stick with me that well. I get distracted easily. It was towards the end of the service when the kids came back into the sanctuary and rushed around to find their parents who were still in the pews when I became focused on the moment.


Two rows in front of me was a little girl, age 5 or so. She had on a pastel green dress with a matching bow in her almost-white hair. This little girl climbed up on the pew next to her mother, stood up, and held open her arms, just waiting for her mom to pick her up. As we were singing at the time and were standing, facing the altar, the mother did not notice right away what her daughter was doing. The little girl continued to stand, hands outstretched as widely as possible. When the mother glanced over, she immediately reached down to pick up her child. The little girl clung there and our eyes met. She stared at me with big blue eyes shyly peaking over her mother's shoulder. It was so sweet, I teared up.

Recently, I have so often been crying out for comfort from God, for Him to pull me in His arms and keep me safe. The moment in church was a perfect image to represent what God does every day as a way to show He loves us, whether we feel it or not. He is always willing to pull us close, soothe our troubled emotions, simply be there. I picture myself sitting on His knee, sometimes telling Him about my day and my thoughts, sometimes just being there with Him and soaking up all His goodness and wonderfulness and love.

Like the little girl in church, I am standing on a pew with my arms open. And God is reaching to pull me in close.

Katie

My senior year of college (and thus the year I was a Mentor Resident Assistant), Randy-Mac's Office of Residence Life and Housing hired a new Coordinator. I originally wasn't super happy with this because I had really like the previous Coordinator, a girl named Shannon who had gone to Randolph-Macon, and she and I got along quite well. Shannon decided that she had had her fill of nasty parent phone calls and assignment paperwork, so she left the college administration realm to do something else.

Enter Katie Thorne. Freakin' Katie Thorne.

Growing up in NOVA (Northern Virginia to you folks unfamiliar with the local geography), Katie left the D.C. metro area for the country when she attended Virginia Tech for college and grad school. And THEN, Katie came to Ashland! I liked Katie well enough from the start, but over my senior year we bonded and became close friends. My year on Richmond's Boulevard was largely characterized by nights out with Katie (along with our other awesome friends). When I moved to Charlottesville, Katie came to my humble penthouse apartment and I reciprocated with visits to her cinder block palace. Our time together has been rife with dinners at Sticky Rice, bottles of wine, nights in front of the TV, and long talks about anything and everything. Katie is incredibly accepting of everyone and is one of the people I can truly say enjoys life for everything it has to offer. The things most people only dream about, like going to Chicago on a whim for St. Patrick's Day or backpacking Europe with people she met while studying abroad in Austria, these are the things on which Katie thrives. I have such admiration for Katie's ability to grab opportunities that are fun and life-giving in a way other people typically don't have the audacity to do. Katie is so good at always seeing the positive in life, and I know that I have learned so much from having the privilege to spend precious moments with her, simply enjoying life.

During the past few months, my situation has been so blessed that I have been able to spend several weeks with Katie after my return from Haiti, and it's a good thing because last Tuesday Katie moved to Scotland (SCOTLAND!). Edinburgh, in fact. If you haven't been to Scotland, it is a gorgeous country, and I'm so happy for Katie's new experiences. While I am sad that Katie no longer lives a short hour and a half drive west on 64, I am so glad for the time we have had over the past three years and I'm very much looking forward to our future adventures in Europe!

(you can get to know Katie on her blog at flower3192.blogspot.com)

Your love is strong

(listen)

heavenly Father, You always amaze me

let Your kingdom come in my world and in my life

You give me the food I need to live through the day

and forgive me as I forgive the people that wronged me

lead me far from temptation, deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window, the birds are composing

not a note is out of tune or out of place

I look at the meadow and stare at the flowers

better dressed than any girl on her wedding day

so why do I worry?

why do I freak out?

God knows what I need

You know what I need

Your love is strong

the kingdom of the heavens is now advancing

invade my heart, invade this broken town

the kingdom of the heavens is buried treasure

will you sell yourself to buy the One you've found?

two things you told me, that You are strong

and You love me 

yes, You love me

Your love is strong

And we feel it in our souls.

I really like Don Miller's books. A lot. Blue Like Jazz has been a favorite since, oh, high school. I've read it time and again, chewing on passages I underlined once upon a time and then underline more, sentences that strike a chord with me now that didn't back then. Especially that first paragraph - "I am early in my story, but I believe I will stretch out into eternity, and in Heaven I will reflect upon these early days, these days when it seemed God was down a dirt road, walking toward me. Years ago He was a swinging speck in the distance; now He is close enough I can hear His singing. Soon I will see the lines on His face" - sometimes I'll pick up my beat-up copy and read that over and over and over...

I like Don's style. He makes Jesus real to me in a new way, in a way I haven't thought of before (which, to me, is the purpose of God literature). He writes stuff and I nod a little and say, "Yeah. Yeah, that's right. You got it right, Don."

I recently finished Searching For God Knows What. It is my new favorite.

I was looking through the pages, trying to find a good quote for the blog. My original idea for this post was to have an image of the book cover and then have a really good quote written underneath, a quote that would make you sit and think about your life and how you feel about God. But there are too many good quotes. Quotes about God's love and how "the game" and "the lifeboat mentality" truly have no purpose in God's kingdom. Whole sections of the book completely captivate me. I had never previously thought about the story of the Garden of Eden in such realistic terms of humanity's epic failure, but while reading the first hundred pages of Searching, I sat there and thought about how Adam and Even were real, how they existed and had a relationship with God before sin, and how they broke God's heart in the worst way possible by eating from that freakin' tree.

Don takes a number of words to describe how the Fall signified the beginning of a war, a war between God and Satan, a war between Good and Evil. This is why it's so important to love everyone and not hate those who are different from us, hate things we don't understand but LOVE as Jesus loves, because "this battle we are in is a battle against the principalities of darkness, not against people who are different from us. In war you shoot the enemy, not the hostage."

(Eph 6:12 has always been my all-time favorite verse. "For we struggle not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." The Message puts it nice and to the point: "This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.")

And so I propose a blog name change. Convictions are good. They often serve to keep us on the good path, but all of our struggles are deeper and more serious than that. They are more about God than that. I choose to try and go deeper. Because "for now, because of this act of war, relations have been strained. And we are feeling it in our souls."

Team Uncaged

Originally posted at relief.theworldrace.org by Tiffany Handley on 15 June 2010

The final installment of the Caged saga - why our team was UNCAGED!

On Tuesday, Sister Florence took our team up to the mountains. The ten of us piled into our cage and spent the better part of the morning inhaling diesel in single-lane, stop-and-go Haitian traffic. Hauling the truck up the mountainside was definitely an adventure. At one point, the back gates flung open and we almost lost Robby and Burke! Stopping on a mountain road to stretch and buy some produce, we breathed in the stunning views which were refreshing but short lived. After only half an hour, we climbed back in the truck, journeyed to an old French Baptist mission, and found our truck battery had died. After pushing the truck, we jump-started the engine and continued on to Sister Florence's brother's beautiful house.

A few hours later we found ourselves piling back into our cage as an ominous early evening storm poured down. Between the muddy, potholed roads and the water dripping through the tarp and down our backs, we were all reminded of the difficult country we were in. Most of us turned on our iPods and slumped in our rain coats. Smiles were few and far between.

About twenty minutes into our three hour drive, Heather received a text requesting prayers for one of the other team leaders who was extremely ill. We banded together, prayed for a speedy recovery, and then prayed over our own team's health and spirits. We closed the prayers and felt slightly more rejuvenated but a thick silence still clung to the muggy air.

Robby had spent the better part of the ride deep in prayer and spoke up that God had impressed it upon his heart to pray for the members of the other relief team staying at RENMEN with us. Sammie Jo tossed out more prayer requests, and we all agreed that God was telling us to call out to Him. As we prayed, the Spirit swept into each of our souls, filling us with unspeakable joy and excitement. We spent the last hour of the drive singing out praises and worshipping our faithful Father who had called us to this broken nation. We felt "Amazing Grace" echo through the city as our voices carried hope to the people gathered on the street in the summer night.

We all knew at that time how the Holy Spirit was working through each of us and reminding us that God's power and love are infinite. Though our bodies were being jerked around in our open-air metal box, God could never be trapped or stifled.

Later that night, Kellen proposed a team name change pertaining to our transportation for the month because of the amazing energy that awoke in us on our drive home. Almost simultaneously, three girls had heard the word "UN-caged" spoken to them. And what a fitting name that was for our team. Even though we've spent nearly a week behind the gates and walls of RENMEN and the rest of the time in the back of a truck, God has impressed on us that through Him we can serve and love boundlessly.


Team Uncaged - Haiti Dance Off from warren cheely on Vimeo.

Caged feat. Amy Joy

Originally posted at relief.theworldrace.org by Uncaged on 14 June 2101

A continuation from my last post. This is my story of the Caged experience.

My story
As we piled in the back of the truck and left the RENMEN Foundation compound on a trip downtown to view the earthquake wreckage, I did not realize that we were in a cage. I had been in the cab of the truck the previous day and the back of the truck was just that - the back of the truck.

We drove past familiar landmarks: the church with the missing front wall, the river bed filled with trash and rooting pigs, scores of Haitians selling food and wares on the side of the road. We drove on streets pitted with potholes and puddles. We drove ever closer to areas that sustained the most damage during the earthquake. We drove past watching eyes.

I became aware of the watching eyes and the reality of being in a cage as we approached the presidential palace. The back of the truck was boxed in by tight steel crosshatch. The doors were latched and padlocked shut. Our roof was a tarp to keep off the rain. A literal cage. We slowed to bet a better view of the wrecked palace. One of the once-pristine white domes had crunched into the ground floor, settling at an alarming 45 degree angle to the rest of the building. The remainder of the second floor was no better off, and the ground floor was in shambles.

I wanted to get out and poke around, get a better look and find out the story of who had been inside on January 12, how many people had died, what the plans were for rebuilding and restoring the palace to its rightful majesty. But we had to remain in the truck. I felt like a tourist taking pictures at a spectacle. And I felt judged by the Haitians who witnessed our truck passing by, like maybe they thought we imagined ourselves too good to even get out of our cage to take a moment of silence in honor and remembrance of what had happened.

We left the palace grounds and headed deeper into downtown. There were slabs of concrete lying on the ground, slabs that used to support homes and lives. Rubble piles were a constant theme. Some buildings were still standing, although who knows if they were stable or unsafe. There were always a lot of people on the streets continuing with their lives.

As we drove on in our cage, I was saddened by the loss of life and destroyed buildings, but I did not have the reaction I thought I would. I thought I would cry and have pains in my chest because I simply could not express my grief over the situation. I can't necessarily explain why I didn't quite feel that way. The trip was frustrating, but I sat on my bench and sent out little prayers, hoping they would find their mark.

I processed the ride later that night and thought of Haiti. There were a handful of people who were out working on rebuilding their homes, but the vast majority of people were simply living their lives among the rubble. I thought maybe it's still too close for them to be rebuilding their houses. Maybe they aren't ready to move on and let go so they choose to live in tents among the rubble.

It was about this time that I realized that the story of Haiti is close to my heart. Over the past five years I have experienced immense loss of life, destruction of relationships, and have moved so many times that currently I don't have a house but a storage unit. I am in the rubble and have not yet been ready to build again.

I am Haiti.