And we feel it in our souls.

I really like Don Miller's books. A lot. Blue Like Jazz has been a favorite since, oh, high school. I've read it time and again, chewing on passages I underlined once upon a time and then underline more, sentences that strike a chord with me now that didn't back then. Especially that first paragraph - "I am early in my story, but I believe I will stretch out into eternity, and in Heaven I will reflect upon these early days, these days when it seemed God was down a dirt road, walking toward me. Years ago He was a swinging speck in the distance; now He is close enough I can hear His singing. Soon I will see the lines on His face" - sometimes I'll pick up my beat-up copy and read that over and over and over...

I like Don's style. He makes Jesus real to me in a new way, in a way I haven't thought of before (which, to me, is the purpose of God literature). He writes stuff and I nod a little and say, "Yeah. Yeah, that's right. You got it right, Don."

I recently finished Searching For God Knows What. It is my new favorite.

I was looking through the pages, trying to find a good quote for the blog. My original idea for this post was to have an image of the book cover and then have a really good quote written underneath, a quote that would make you sit and think about your life and how you feel about God. But there are too many good quotes. Quotes about God's love and how "the game" and "the lifeboat mentality" truly have no purpose in God's kingdom. Whole sections of the book completely captivate me. I had never previously thought about the story of the Garden of Eden in such realistic terms of humanity's epic failure, but while reading the first hundred pages of Searching, I sat there and thought about how Adam and Even were real, how they existed and had a relationship with God before sin, and how they broke God's heart in the worst way possible by eating from that freakin' tree.

Don takes a number of words to describe how the Fall signified the beginning of a war, a war between God and Satan, a war between Good and Evil. This is why it's so important to love everyone and not hate those who are different from us, hate things we don't understand but LOVE as Jesus loves, because "this battle we are in is a battle against the principalities of darkness, not against people who are different from us. In war you shoot the enemy, not the hostage."

(Eph 6:12 has always been my all-time favorite verse. "For we struggle not against flesh and blood but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." The Message puts it nice and to the point: "This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.")

And so I propose a blog name change. Convictions are good. They often serve to keep us on the good path, but all of our struggles are deeper and more serious than that. They are more about God than that. I choose to try and go deeper. Because "for now, because of this act of war, relations have been strained. And we are feeling it in our souls."

Team Uncaged

Originally posted at relief.theworldrace.org by Tiffany Handley on 15 June 2010

The final installment of the Caged saga - why our team was UNCAGED!

On Tuesday, Sister Florence took our team up to the mountains. The ten of us piled into our cage and spent the better part of the morning inhaling diesel in single-lane, stop-and-go Haitian traffic. Hauling the truck up the mountainside was definitely an adventure. At one point, the back gates flung open and we almost lost Robby and Burke! Stopping on a mountain road to stretch and buy some produce, we breathed in the stunning views which were refreshing but short lived. After only half an hour, we climbed back in the truck, journeyed to an old French Baptist mission, and found our truck battery had died. After pushing the truck, we jump-started the engine and continued on to Sister Florence's brother's beautiful house.

A few hours later we found ourselves piling back into our cage as an ominous early evening storm poured down. Between the muddy, potholed roads and the water dripping through the tarp and down our backs, we were all reminded of the difficult country we were in. Most of us turned on our iPods and slumped in our rain coats. Smiles were few and far between.

About twenty minutes into our three hour drive, Heather received a text requesting prayers for one of the other team leaders who was extremely ill. We banded together, prayed for a speedy recovery, and then prayed over our own team's health and spirits. We closed the prayers and felt slightly more rejuvenated but a thick silence still clung to the muggy air.

Robby had spent the better part of the ride deep in prayer and spoke up that God had impressed it upon his heart to pray for the members of the other relief team staying at RENMEN with us. Sammie Jo tossed out more prayer requests, and we all agreed that God was telling us to call out to Him. As we prayed, the Spirit swept into each of our souls, filling us with unspeakable joy and excitement. We spent the last hour of the drive singing out praises and worshipping our faithful Father who had called us to this broken nation. We felt "Amazing Grace" echo through the city as our voices carried hope to the people gathered on the street in the summer night.

We all knew at that time how the Holy Spirit was working through each of us and reminding us that God's power and love are infinite. Though our bodies were being jerked around in our open-air metal box, God could never be trapped or stifled.

Later that night, Kellen proposed a team name change pertaining to our transportation for the month because of the amazing energy that awoke in us on our drive home. Almost simultaneously, three girls had heard the word "UN-caged" spoken to them. And what a fitting name that was for our team. Even though we've spent nearly a week behind the gates and walls of RENMEN and the rest of the time in the back of a truck, God has impressed on us that through Him we can serve and love boundlessly.


Team Uncaged - Haiti Dance Off from warren cheely on Vimeo.

Caged feat. Amy Joy

Originally posted at relief.theworldrace.org by Uncaged on 14 June 2101

A continuation from my last post. This is my story of the Caged experience.

My story
As we piled in the back of the truck and left the RENMEN Foundation compound on a trip downtown to view the earthquake wreckage, I did not realize that we were in a cage. I had been in the cab of the truck the previous day and the back of the truck was just that - the back of the truck.

We drove past familiar landmarks: the church with the missing front wall, the river bed filled with trash and rooting pigs, scores of Haitians selling food and wares on the side of the road. We drove on streets pitted with potholes and puddles. We drove ever closer to areas that sustained the most damage during the earthquake. We drove past watching eyes.

I became aware of the watching eyes and the reality of being in a cage as we approached the presidential palace. The back of the truck was boxed in by tight steel crosshatch. The doors were latched and padlocked shut. Our roof was a tarp to keep off the rain. A literal cage. We slowed to bet a better view of the wrecked palace. One of the once-pristine white domes had crunched into the ground floor, settling at an alarming 45 degree angle to the rest of the building. The remainder of the second floor was no better off, and the ground floor was in shambles.

I wanted to get out and poke around, get a better look and find out the story of who had been inside on January 12, how many people had died, what the plans were for rebuilding and restoring the palace to its rightful majesty. But we had to remain in the truck. I felt like a tourist taking pictures at a spectacle. And I felt judged by the Haitians who witnessed our truck passing by, like maybe they thought we imagined ourselves too good to even get out of our cage to take a moment of silence in honor and remembrance of what had happened.

We left the palace grounds and headed deeper into downtown. There were slabs of concrete lying on the ground, slabs that used to support homes and lives. Rubble piles were a constant theme. Some buildings were still standing, although who knows if they were stable or unsafe. There were always a lot of people on the streets continuing with their lives.

As we drove on in our cage, I was saddened by the loss of life and destroyed buildings, but I did not have the reaction I thought I would. I thought I would cry and have pains in my chest because I simply could not express my grief over the situation. I can't necessarily explain why I didn't quite feel that way. The trip was frustrating, but I sat on my bench and sent out little prayers, hoping they would find their mark.

I processed the ride later that night and thought of Haiti. There were a handful of people who were out working on rebuilding their homes, but the vast majority of people were simply living their lives among the rubble. I thought maybe it's still too close for them to be rebuilding their houses. Maybe they aren't ready to move on and let go so they choose to live in tents among the rubble.

It was about this time that I realized that the story of Haiti is close to my heart. Over the past five years I have experienced immense loss of life, destruction of relationships, and have moved so many times that currently I don't have a house but a storage unit. I am in the rubble and have not yet been ready to build again.

I am Haiti.

Caged

Originally posted at relief.theworldrace.org by Uncaged on 14 June 2010

This is the story of how my Haiti team became Uncaged, although I have shortened "Caged" from its original 10-page post into something a little more manageable. This is Heather's story, and I will post my "Caged" entry as well as the the corresponding "Uncaged" blog in a day or so. As background, Heather is Uncaged's team leader. This event occurred our first Sunday in Haiti when we had been within the perimeter of the RENMEN Foundation walls going on four days.

Heather's story
Gathered in a small room scattered around the tile floor, our team began an early Sunday morning worship time. The music was playing and outside you could hear the beautiful composition of birds chirping, wind blowing, and children singing. As I lay on the floor, I asked one question. "God, what do you want for us?" Time passed and after a while of listening, I clearly heard Him say, "Get them out. Get them out of these walls but don't let them 'do' anything." I had no clue what He meant but I knew what I needed to do.

After we dismissed from worship, I went and sat with Sister Florence. I asked her if there was any way we could go out into the city on Monday. She quickly answered with, "Why not today?" So we agreed to take the team to the city and drive around.

As the day went on, we had church with the children, began projects around the house, and planned meetings for other ministry opportunities. Going out into the city began to look like less and less of a possibility. God had clearly spoken to me that morning despite what seemed to be every obstacle coming our way and trying to stop Him, so I placed the situation in His hands and continued on with the day.

Around 3 o'clock we were told the driver had finally arrived. I walked outside and saw the truck sitting there, cage and all. Yes, the back of the truck was a massive cage. I quietly laughed to myself knowing that this afternoon was going to be quite interesting. I was getting ready to pile our team into a cage and drive them around to see all the earthquake destruction, not allowing them to get out. God has a funny way of teaching us things.

Purposely not explaining anything to the team, I got all ten of us situated in the cage and we headed for the city. Everyone was excited to get out. While they laughed and talked, I was biting my nails. I didn't know what to expect. I knew God was about to move but I knew that it would be hard for everyone to understand.

As we drove around, I stood peering out of the cage and holding onto the bars. People glared at us as if we were a caged attraction at the zoo. I hated it. I wanted so badly to turn around and tell my team to jump out. I wanted to stop the car, get out, and do something. I knew that is not what God had planned for that afternoon. Everything within me wanted to fix the pain I saw on my team's faces. He began to speak over me. "Heather, trust that I am a big God. I can restore this nation without you physically 'doing' anything. I want you to be obedient and through that My kingdom will be brought." Through His strength I was able to continue to walk in obedience while our team seemed to be falling apart in the back of the cage. As I prayed, I asked God to guide me. I felt prompted to turn around and tell our team to listen. Listen to what God was saying and speak it out. I knew I was ultimately setting them up.

Shortly after prompting them to listen, one of them spoke up and asked if we could get out. I wanted so badly to scream YES, but I casually passed it off and said we would have to ask. Without knowing the circumstances of what God had said to me, Father Michel gave a firm no and explained that it would not be a good idea. I saw the look on my team's faces when they heard the news but I knew that God had interceded for me. I had to allow them to go through this experience. After a couple of hours, we returned home with obvious frustration and brokenness on the team member's faces. I was excited to hear what God had taught them.

As we opened up the nightly debrief, I began to explain to them what God had told me. With a couple of smiles here and there, they began to speak out what God had taught them. It all makes sense now, they said. While we were physically caged in and feeling spiritually caged in, God had broken through to us and revealed that we were uncaged.

Here are the stories of what it felt like to be 'caged' through their eyes...

The Radical Experiment

I recently read Radical by David Platt. In terms of motivating me to pursue self-reliance and success as determined by US culture, it was exactly the wrong book to read.

But that was the point.

Platt speaks plainly about how we as a contemporary people have twisted biblical truths and the Gospel message to fit into our comfy lifestyle. Jesus said that to follow Him, we need to be willing to give up everything. Everything. Jesus commanded us to go to the nations, not only give our money, but go and give our time. Christianity is not about me or you, it's about God's goodness and Jesus sacrificing Himself to cover our sin.

It's a very starkly honest book and I recommend it to anyone, especially those who are tired of the "American Dream" and the US's competitive, materialistic culture.

I don't want to rely on myself. Let's face it - while I am a fairly responsible and trustworthy person, I can absolutely be too serious and/or too lazy. Why would I want to rely on that?

I only want to rely on God.

I want to abandon what America says is right and exist entirely in His kingdom. This is a process that will last until the end of my life. However, in an effort to get closer to my goal of complete abandonment of the world, I am embarking on the Radical Experiment. Platt outlines the Radical Experiment as such:

"I commit to a one-year experiment of radical living according to the Gospel and to making myself open to the permanent changes God wants to perform in my life as a result of this experiment. Over the next year...
1. I will pray for the entire world.
2. I will read through the entire Word.
3. I will sacrifice my money for a specific purpose.
4. I will spend time in another context.
5. I will commit my life to a multiplying community."

From August 1, 2010 to July 31, 2011, I will be living radically. I expect it to be hard. I expect to be under spiritual attack and thus distracted and even forget some days. And I expect the results to be awesome.